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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325147">Bad Religion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenReyesWrites/pseuds/RavenReyesWrites'>RavenReyesWrites</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cheating, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, M/M, NSFW Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, One-Sided Love, Rejection, Unrequited Love, barista!keiji lives rent free in my mind, for haikyuu angst week 2020, wrote this in between emergency cases in the ER</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:22:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,146</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenReyesWrites/pseuds/RavenReyesWrites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma can easily remember how he and Keiji started this unusual… arrangement, but how they went from faking a relationship to sucking each other’s cock until one of them gets too impatient and starts pounding into the other, well, that’s something he might need a second or two to think back on.</p><p>Day 1 of Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 - Prompt: Unrequited Love</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji &amp; Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Haikyuu Angst Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bad Religion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I vowed to write an AkaKen oneshot everyday for the whole Haikyuu Angst Week. This is Day 1.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Fuck, Keiji! R—Right there, right fucking there,” Kenma breathed out, mewling into his sheets as Keiji continued thrusting hard into him. It was all too <em> good, </em> almost too much for him to handle, but all he could do was grip his sheets tightly in his hands as Keiji merely chuckled behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Fuck, Keiji does know how to move and gauge out those high pitched pleasurable noises out of him. Kenma thought he should already be used to it, considering that being on all fours with the barista’s cock buried deep in his ass has been an almost nightly thing, but now, with Keiji squeezing his left ass cheek before hitting it with his palm, all he could do was give in as always.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma can easily remember how he and Keiji started this unusual… arrangement, but how they went from faking a relationship to sucking each other’s cock until one of them gets too impatient and starts pounding into the other, well, that’s something he might need a second or two to think back on.</p><p> </p><p>One moment, Keiji was just one of his matches on Tinder, matching with him within the first 30 minutes of him using the app. His photos were all of him wearing a white bottom down long-sleeved shirt and a brown apron over it with the name <em> The Grind </em> embroidered on the chest area. He appeared to be making latte art, and although the photos didn’t show what Keiji made with the froth, the raven-haired guy’s steely green eyes were already <em> attractive </em>enough for him.</p><p> </p><p>Within minutes of talking to him in the app’s messaging box, he found out three things: Keiji has a business degree, he <em> owns </em>The Grind, and he’s looking for a warm body he can fuck when work gets too rough.</p><p> </p><p>The fake dating part was unplanned. If only Kuroo, Kenma’s cheating ex boyfriend, didn’t find out <em> somehow </em>where he and Keiji were that afternoon, he wouldn’t have held Keiji’s hand and told Kuroo that he and Keiji were together and that he should get lost.</p><p> </p><p>There was an <em> outburst </em>, there were fists pounding on the cafe’s table, there were drinks swatted off the table (all on Kuroo’s end), and there were intrigued stranger eyes staring at them, but Keiji merely wrapped an arm over Kenma’s shoulder and coolly told Kuroo to “get the fuck out of my cafe before I lose my patience.”</p><p> </p><p>After the initial encounter, Kuroo and his friends still continued to bother them, barging into The Grind and shit-talking the owner and all Keiji could do was smile at the other customers apologetically for the “unintended and uninvited chaos” as he continued serving them their drinks. Next thing he knew, the cup he was preparing was thrown to the floor and Konoha’s fist met his face, and amidst his bloody, swelling nose and blurring vision, he jumped over the counter and pulped Kuroo to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma heard about the <em> fiasco </em>through Eita, Keiji’s right hand in the cafe. He immediately left his gaming station and drove to Keiji’s apartment, knocking hard and loud on the hard wood until Keiji, with an ice pack pressed against her purpling face, opened the door. He only planned to convince him to get medical attention for his injuries and apologize profusely for messing up his previously peaceful life before he came in the picture. But a few minutes later, Kenma found himself kneeling on the floor with his lips, already swollen from the hungry kisses they shared earlier, wrapped around Keiji’s cock as he slowly drove the barista to his climax.</p><p> </p><p>And now, five months later since that night, Kenma still has the same thought: Keiji’s cock feels good <em> in </em> him.</p><p> </p><p>He was brought back to his present <em> euphoric </em>state when Keiji pulled him up by a hand on his throat, making him arch his back with a choked noise as Keiji bit harshly on his bottom lip. Kenma’s moans were drowned in Keiji’s mouth as his thrusts got more erratic, more unsteady. Kenma can already taste his climax at the end of his tongue, and with the way Keiji’s neck vein was protruding against his smooth skin, he knew Keiji wasn’t that far behind.</p><p> </p><p>As Keiji’s hand traveled south and reached down for Kenma’s hard dick to stroke it, Kenma peaked with a guttural groan. Spurts of come came out of him as Keiji all but pushed his limping upper body back on the cushion as he pounded into him, mirroring Kenma’s <em> noise </em> as he finally released into the rubber sheath around his member. </p><p> </p><p>They basked in the moment as they both rode out their high, a content smile gracing the gamer’s face as he felt Keiji slowly softening in him before pulling out. Immediately, he felt empty, <em> devoid, </em>but the sight of Keiji lying down on the bed after trashing the condom in his bin was enough to slowly fill him with bliss.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma Kozume was in love with Keiji Akaashi, but he’s nothing more than a fuck buddy and fake boyfriend to the latter.</p><p> </p><p>He was well-aware of that, and he has slowly accepted the fact that nothing more will ever grow from their present state.</p><p> </p><p>So imagine his shock, his panic, how dumbfounded he was when instead of the usual “that was a great fuck”, “fuck I’m so in love with you” fell from his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma closed his eyes as the realization dawned on him. His ears were ringing, feeling the temperature in his room dropping a couple of degrees as he cussed himself.</p><p> </p><p>But scarily, as expected, there was nothing but silence from Keiji. No, he doesn’t think Keiji didn’t hear it; it was loud enough for the both of them to digest it. Keiji was just being… Keiji. And after knowing him for months, he knew he had made a personality out of his <em> composure </em> even during the most stressful moments.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to look up to him and see his reaction, but he can’t open his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Or maybe, he wasn’t ready to see the <em> consequence </em>of what he had said.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” </p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s breathing hitched at the question; there’s no way he can reason himself out of this now. </p><p> </p><p>He gulped, biting his lip before finally looking at Keiji, and his first thought upon meeting his green eyes was <em> fuck, I’m so in love with you. </em></p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t read his face. There were no signs of hatred, of disgust. He continued scanning the expanse of the face Kenma had gotten used to waking up to and still found nothing. But when his eyebrow twitched as he repeated the monosyllabic inquiry, Kenma realized he was confused, and he needed an answer.</p><p> </p><p>He deserved an explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“Keiji, I—“</p><p> </p><p>“You’re in love with me?”</p><p> </p><p>Again, Kenma couldn’t do anything but purse his lips. It felt weird, the way they were both completely bare with Keiji slowly sitting up to look down at Kenma. This is a whole new level of nakedness and he wasn’t ready for it.</p><p> </p><p>“I… How can I not be?” </p><p> </p><p>His words were met with silence, and when he looked up, furrowed brows paired with slightly widened eyes looked back at him instead of the other’s usually serene face. A soft <em> fuck </em> escaped Keiji’s lips before he got off the bed and took a few steps away, his hands resting on his hips with his back on Kenma.</p><p> </p><p>Panic rose in Kenma as he sat up on the bed as Keiji slowly turned to him. He looked calm, but there was an unfamiliar strain in his stare.</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma, that’s not supposed to happen. That’s <em> never </em>meant to happen,” Keiji said monotonously, but somehow, it brought chills up Kenma’s spine.</p><p> </p><p>“But I am, and apparently, I can’t hold it in much longer, Keiji. You’re… fuck, you’re just so—“</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare finish that,” he hissed as he pointed at Kenma. “Don’t you fucking dare or God help me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or what? You’re gonna storm out of here? Get scared of these goddamn feelings I have for you? I didn’t know you’re a fucking craven, Keiji.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you’re not a man of your words,” he countered coolly.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“What did you tell me when we started this whole fake dating shit? The whole fuck buddies shit we have? ‘Nothing too serious. Just help me get rid of Kuroo and I’ll do whatever you want’. That’s what you fucking said, Kenma.”</p><p> </p><p>“That changed when you fucking kissed me even without Kuroo around, asshole!” Kenma fumed, getting off the bed to stand toe to toe with Keiji. “That changed when you texted me every fucking day telling me not to miss any meals and to drop by your stupid cafe to get treats from you. That fucking changed when you made me fall for you, idiot!”</p><p> </p><p>“I never asked you to fall for me, god damn it, Kenma! I never asked for this!” Keiji snapped, and it was enough for Kenma to take a step back. “I will <em> never </em> ask for this.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma can only stare at Keiji, half aware of the tears pouring down his cheeks. He expected rejection, but not a complete throw down of his feelings. It doesn’t hurt, Kenma thought.</p><p> </p><p>It was <em> numbing </em>.</p><p> </p><p>The way Keiji’s eyes were now fiery, almost <em> offended </em>at the fact that he might be in love with him, the way his hands were balled into fists in his sides when they were oh so gentle just a few minutes ago, the way sweat formed on his forehead despite the coldness of his room.</p><p> </p><p>Keiji is not having <em> any </em> of this. And Kenma can’t do anything about this nonreciprocity.</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted someone to fuck, Ken. You’re aware of that. I never failed in reminding you that! I know I agreed to be your fake boyfriend but I don’t have the time, the <em> room </em> to deal with all these… <em> feelings </em> and shit of yours. I—I’m out, <em> fuck </em>, I can’t,” Keiji resigned before picking up his clothes from the floor. In desperation, Kenma took hold of his wrists tightly. </p><p> </p><p>“Keiji no, please, I’m sorry! P—Please don’t leave,” he pleaded, but Keiji easily escaped from his grip.</p><p> </p><p>“Leave me alone.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—I… please. Keiji, <em> stay </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t. I won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s lips quivered as he couldn’t do anything but watch Keiji as he put his clothes back on. He watched him sit on his gaming chair and started tying up his shoes, frowning when he paused and <em> flinching </em> when Keiji threw his shoe across the room and let out a loud “FUCK!”.</p><p> </p><p>Silence enveloped them again, but peaceful was the last thing Kenma can describe it as. </p><p> </p><p>“What we had was good enough as it is, Kenma. How dare you ruin it with your stupid feelings,” Keiji hushed out. “You fucking ruined this.”</p><p> </p><p>And that was the last straw in Kenma’s book. He can take the rejection, Keiji turning his back on him, but not Keiji invalidating his feelings. He did not spend years trying to understand and to accept his own self, flaws and all, just for <em> someone </em>to easily stomp on them.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what? Fuck you,” he started, yanking at his blanket to cover up his body as he walked towards Keiji. Surprise was evident on the other’s face as he did not expect for Kenma to speak up.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t accept the fact that I’m in love with you, that’s fine. That’s completely fine. But what’s fucking unacceptable is you trying to malign me for having these feelings. Yes, I may cry when you leave, but trust me, Keiji, I can move fucking on. Soon, you’ll be nothing but a speck in my past. So please, leave. Now.”</p><p> </p><p>Keiji swallowed when Kenma finished, watching his shoulders rise then fall as he panted after his outburst. For the short while that he had known him, he never took him as someone who would stand up for himself. But oh was he proven wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Keiji nodded curtly before picking up his shoe and tying it up. He then pocketed his phone and keys from the bedside table before turning to Kenma, the <em> apathetic </em> look back on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope you can keep your word this time.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, Keiji left, leaving Kenma alone in the eerie silence of his room.</p><p> </p><p>It was all overwhelming; he managed to disclose his feelings to the man who made his heart beat again after the hell Kuroo had put him through, and then practically kicked said man out of his room. </p><p> </p><p>And maybe, just maybe, out of his life.</p><p> </p><p>Now, he has to learn how to deal with the absence of warmth only Keiji Akaashi managed to exude in the short while their fates were intertwined. </p><p> </p><p>And for the sake of his sanity, he has to learn fast.</p>
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